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All so true, and so real. If it's self-censorship, it's bad. But if it's intelligent moderation, it may not be. It seems like you saved a friendship and were close to even having a rare breakthrough. On the other hand, I'd like to think I moderated how I engaged with my friends who "don't want to know" but it got me nowhere with most of them and when I inevitably began to speak unreservedly, it burned what remaining bridges there were. So, while I wish it could have been different, I can't really regret it either. I now choose to speak freely and unreservedly whenever I see an opening and to avoid situations where this is not 'allowed'. Spiritually, this is a better place to be, I think.

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Jan 23, 2023Liked by Kathleen

I am in the exact same place at the moment so thank you Kathleen. The only difference is, I saw the big picture (Operation Paperclip 2.0) early on, decades in health care plus some years in patents and trademarks (shout out to Dr David Martin) gave me an added perspective on what was really afoot with the pandemic psyop and then finding CAF and her brilliance at explaining the financial coup d'etat started in the 90's pulled lots together quickly in 2020-21 and I ran around my life soundingthe fire alarm wherever ai could believing whole heartedly I was saving lives, not simply my own. And as everyone on this thread already knows, some firsthand, it backfired spectacularly and I was abandoned by all, even by the most beloved of relatives.

The one statement from someone I had a 20+ year friendship with that still haunts and hurt the most is "Well, I hope 'YOUR truth' keeps you safe." Never heard from them again and they last year declined our sons wedding invite even though they had known him and claimed to love him since birth.

It does make you question your own morality, discernment, intelligence, intentions, ability to walk on eggshells without crushing and ultimately your self-worth. I deeply miss every.single.one. of those relationships that colored my life beautiful and blessed prior to 2019. But now I view them all as part of the Illusion I too once believed in.

A friend is not someone we are friendly with- its someone who has your back, and compassionately, patiently, selflessly shares the journey with you even when they are looking at a different map.

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Good example that upon pulling one thread we find the roots of fascism go very deep. Especially in the universe of the public private partnerships of corporate culture.

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I am a ball of rage today and your post calmed me down a bit. That is quite a skill. Anyone who knows me would congratulate you! xx

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🙏 truth. For millions of us.

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Yes amen. TRUTH for millions of us. Thank you. ♥️ I have experienced something very similar. My twin has also. I am so thankful we are on the same exact page. There is GREAT comfort in numbers.

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Kathleen, I'm so moved by your honesty and self-reflection in this piece. I found many of your internal questions mirrored my own as I navigated relationships throughout the past 3 years, and re-living them through your essay was both painful and enlightening. Thank you for providing a space for that kind of internal work. Each of us is navigating uncharted waters, for sure, and I believe our unique ways of dealing with friends and family are all valid.

One thought: I agree wholeheartedly that the doubt and guilt are manufactured externally, and that our essential self doesn't even KNOW what those things are, but I also think that they are survival mechanisms, designed to keep us safe within the bosom of the tribe -- which makes shaking them off very, very difficult.

I loved this piece, and am grateful to you for writing it. xox

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This is a very, very, fine piece. To be honest, I don't have any covid-believers left in my life anymore, no matter how long I was friends with them. It's just not worth it. I'm in Australia and the government nearly hit every stage of Stanton's 10 stages of genocide against the unvaccinated and they fell for it hook, line and sinker. The unvaccinated are family now. None of them have showed up and apologised. I won't die waiting. https://vicparkpetition.substack.com/p/australian-genocide-in-progress

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Is there a particular point you made or fact you shared that you think is giving you this sense? Something you said you're unsure of? Or is it that you answered your friend's question very open-ended question as broadly and as fully as you did?

You impress me as someone with enormous sensitivity, compassion, patience, so I can only imagine that when your friend asked you what you thought, you expressed it -- thoughtfully, patiently, factually. I say bravo to her for finally asking and bravo to you for giving her the gift of your informed and honest opinion.

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founding
Jan 23, 2023Liked by Kathleen

This piece reflects something I've pondered on often-all the many ways we've been taught, shown, lead, pressured, and on and on to not trust our SELF. So many layers to the teasing out of those false narratives we carry. When you think about it starting as babies and every system we are/were exposed to reinforcing this message-you don't know, ask someone else, don't trust you self-it's likely remarkable every time we recover what we do know, that we do know. Excellent flushing out and sharing one of those threads. Thank you!

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On a Leo Hohnman article on ICD-10 coding to identify undone, partially done patients, a comment I saw from one lady, Rachel said she recently found she’d been given classification as ‘schysotypal’ as an ICD-10 code.

Where this is going:

1. What with many doctors both in Germany, and Canada being declared mentally ill as not conforming to The Narrative.

2. the Holocaust survivor composer also being declared mentally I’ll and ordered into a psychiatric hospital to get done without her consent.

My sister has kept calling me crazy for even telling her of what has been published about WHO and WEF plans. Not once but 4 times in two days. But I’m also a bully for saying she’s ignorant of geopolitical maneuvering? I’m ignorant of physics and chemistry!

I also know that I am unable to remove the diagnoses of depression and anxiety even they were caused by untreated hypothyroidism. Even though the organic psychiatric effects are well known and their improvement with adequate Levothyroxine. https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/hypothyroidism-important-diagnostic-consideration-psychiatrist

Once declared with a psychiatric label for any reason (ex: complex grief) it sticks forever. But my liver failure diagnosis WAS removed!

They are labelling our noncompliance as evidence of psychiatric disturbance. Those of us who’ve seen through the deception are the 30% who did not comply in the Asch and Milgram experiments. Those that comply the most are also the easiest to hypnotize and be manipulated by NLP and nudge applied Behavioural psychology.

But that will not stop them labelling us all as crazy. Remember Boo Radley and how they treated him as a societal pariah?

We, the awake, are all Boo Radley now.

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Thank you for sharing these hard-won insights and self-reflections.

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This was a very relatable essay. I've been there before - I think anyone with heterodox beliefs, in this highly controlled age, has experienced this hesitation to speak, and the sense of having transgressed by being too honest, having done something dirty and wrong. There's a fine line between exercising the discretion necessary to navigate the mindraped social landscape, and self-censoring because there's still a part of you that wonders: what if they're right? What if you're the crazy one? After all, so many people disagree....

Asch conformity effect is a bitch.

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Oof, I needed to read this today. I imagine any friend of yours with sense in their head and not too proud would be circling back around to fix the tears in your relationship. I so wish I can have these kinds of conversations with friends who walked out of my life. To get over it, I keep telling myself it was for the better, that if they didn’t want to give me the time of day, what kind of friends were they really, but it still hurts. I invested so much time, energy, effort and patience in cultivating those relationships, how easy it was for them to discard me. It made the ones that stuck around, even more dear. And you know something? There are people who I’ve never met in real life that I consider closer friends than I did those that I’ve known for decades. The litmus test of the importance of individual freedom is now a shortcut to insta trust and connection.

Heartfelt and beautiful, this essay, thank you.

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Jan 23, 2023Liked by Kathleen

It’s a seeming never-ending web, isn’t it? Even though we personally discover truths, uncover deceptions, conduct out own research, or just trust our instincts, that worm is always there,wiggling it’s way through our consciousness.

The conditioning is deep, and I think it’s more than just avoiding controversy or upset. It’s certain topics, certain kinds of questions that seem more strongly inhibited—to speak of or to listen to. And not just the adults, the children too. I have noticed, however, that the younger the mind is encouraged to question supposed-unpopular topics, the more resilient they are when facing social devaluing.

I suppose it’s like a muscle: use it or lose it.

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Thanks Kathleen for sharing that story, I have experienced similar feelings. Some people are so tied to their opinion, view, belief that they take it as a personal attack if you express a different opinion. Sensing this we often pull back if we value the friendship and don't won't to rock the boat.

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