I feel it too. I’ve been so angry and that can be hard on me and everyone around me. I wish I could feel peaceful despite what I feel is coming and despite how the Covid BS played out. Not sure I like knowing things your average person has no clue about! Wait and see has taken
on a new meaning these past four years. I have learned patience I guess. Growing weary of it though and, like you, just want to get on with it. If anyone has advice on how to let it all go I would love to hear it!
As soon as I finished I just wanted to read it all again. From the first essay where I discovered you some twoish years ago, your writing makes me feel as if my own soul is speaking through you. Quite remarkable and comforting. The isolation (and reluctance to overcome it through engagement with others in the everyday, because trust was destroyed for me and is the foundation of any relationship I feel inspired to invest in) has been brutal and triggers my impatience "let's get on with the planned depop already already already so I can see what's left to work with" and has turned me into a ghoul some days. There is no lack of anger or tears as my life continues to feel as if I am incarcerated in a different way as dreams and desires only serve to remind the future has been irreparably altered. And most days the mantra "nothing matters nobody really cares" is like the milky aerosolized poison soup blocking the sun overhead. And mostly I just cant find words for any of it. So thank you for being here. Sounds trite but meant with great sincerity.
Thanks for writing this, Kathleen. I've felt ever since Covid that the Universe threw the glove down. That the challenge wasn't merely statistical or medical or even survival, since so many have been dying en masse. That it was a far greater thing of transformation, of awakening. Those who are ready will accept the challenge, those who aren't, won't or even can't. Our evolution at the soul level is the center of our horrific context. Can we maintain radical acceptance? That all the death, violence and slaughter is in perfection? It sounds absurd, even horrific itself, but taken at the cosmic level it has a different meaning entirely.
My first thought about what you wrote is everyday I feel I have to present myself as someone I am not anymore. From the moment I wake up with my husband who spends time on MSM in his man cave and pushes back on what I see going on to my sisters lost in the present world’s narratives then my friends where we meet. And then there is my daughter and her tr@nsgender son. My only grandchild. I know what this whole child sacrifice system is now and my family is trapped in it. I’m 76 this year. My hubs is 78. In my mind these are the years you start feeling your mortality and automatically start feeling and doing other things. Do we really need to renovate parts of the house? Do we have enough to continue a decent retirement. Will our savings be stolen? Now, in the current hellish health space, how do we protect each other when inevitable health issues arise if this hellish system gets hold of us. I will have to advocate for him. Can he properly and strongly advocate for me? We need to do the talks and sign the papers but will that even that be possible? Will they be honored. We have proof they may not. I think I’m in kind of crucial moment personally. I’m praying for discernment. I see many scripture references telling me something. God help us all.
I've thanked my readers as well. I would not have gotten through 2023 as well without them. So many became friends I've never met. There are several writers and commenters on this and other stacks I feel like I know, although we've never met. That would be the energy, which does not stay encased, right? Have a great Sunday!
What I didn't realize or understand was that the thing that was coming was going to look so ugly. Necessary but uglier than anything before.
So at the same time as I rue the developments, I also hold an excitement because it's no longer the small drip of inching closer to something. Now the faucet is on full blast and the tub is overflowing, but what is coming out of the tap is rancid mud.
And here is something that will help from our friend in a wider place: "Belief systems are losing their affectingness."
I take this to mean that we will be able, as we allow ourselves, to create what we want without regard for what others are doing. That we can choose what we want to participate in, OR NOT.
Jury is still out, but we have begun to move in that direction.
Being political by nature, it's a tricky proposition for me.
A beautiful post, Kathleen, and so true for me too that new friends made here have been a precious relief from 'wandering lonely as a cloud' knowing that it is no longer an option or a need to 'fit in' and 'keep quiet' and deny my true self the delight of breaking free to do the work I long to do here on this beautiful Earth. Thank you for engaging with me too, for reading my posts and for being so kind which is greatly appreciated and brings joy to my heart..
Back in January, I was on a Zoom call with a group of people. Somebody said, "Do you feel like something is happening?" For this group, this is an unusual departure from the regular attention to work and life. I've shared that statement with many people since. Some of the things happening are very apparent, others less so. However, I would said that one thing that seems to be an almost defining impression of what is happening is the turn or transition from a mechanical materialist orientation to life to one more focused on relationships, and in particular conversation. I'm 115 episodes into my podcast, The Eddy Network. The primarily appreciation has been that it is an unscripted conversation. I didn't see that perception coming. It says something about the forward movement of this great transition that we are in. It says to me that our future will be more communal even as technology becomes more dominant. If I am correct, and I don't know if I am, it means that together we will be learning how to mitigate the constraining and harmful effects of what is developing. For this reason, I have hope, even as I believe the collapse or whatever we call it, will have devastating consequences for life on our planet. Thanks for staying true to your principles and being willing to change at the same time.
I maintain confidence that the universe is a top down affair rather than the bottom up way of the social Darwinists and would be controllers. The top down way encourages ones connection to the divine, our natural guide working through Natural Law, morals and ethics. The bottom up way of the 'laws of nature' looses respect of the sanctity of life and makes for survival of the fittest rather than health of the whole. God guides us when we learn to listen. This provides comfort and confidence to move forward during these trying times. We have free will and do well to embrace it, to better understand our role and responsibilities in this creative unfolding of life. The hubris of would be gods will be dashed on the rocks of reality, one way or another. The 'smarty pants' crowd does not know how to shape their own lives, how can they be taken as authorities for the shaping of our lives? They get away with it only through the deep propaganda of the split model of reality, our dominant narrative and driver of culture that is well past its expiration date. Read the labels. Stuff is moldy and stale. We need to make some fresh bread. Unleavened of course.
I love the work of many sub-stack artists, poets, compilers, writers, researchers and witnesses. Now lets find the way to put the parts together. I identify as a mechanic, putting well made parts together that come from hither and yon to make a working whole. The whole will work when the parts are installed correctly.
Hello, Ms. Sun in Aries!! 🔥🔥 I know this isn't a post about astrology, and Aries is just one part of your puzzle, but just for fun...
You already seem very self aware of Aries' shadows so I thought I would list some of his higher expressions.
From my astrologer, Lynnette Duncan:
"Aries - Instinct: To Shine in your life, from a true center. Higher Expression - The I AM - Self Expression. Active, Intentional, Natural Leadership, Creative Ideas, Inspirational, Adventurous, Daring, Seeks Experience and Learns, Self-Initiative - Peioneering, Enthusiastice, Decisive, Outgoing."
So glad to have connected with you here, Kathleen! I hate to put away laundry, too! XOXO
Thank you Kathleen for being a rainbow in a cloudy world (a la Maya Angelou). Despite them dragging us down to their own dark and low levels, we are stronger, brighter than we could possibly imagine. We are all crazy diamonds… shine on.
Appreciate your putting to words this journey of bizzaro through your eyes.
Like you said, so many relationships have broken-in my life too, it feels like I’ve passed them by/up as ones who choose not to do any self growth or have just numbed out to any inquiry as to WTF is happening , on my part the times have facilitated an acceleration of this ‘knowing ‘ myself, and making lemonade from the lemons as best I can. I make a living as a metal smith, operate a small gallery, named it Virtu, it’s the action form of virtue, do your best-which is all any one can do. It’s all we’ve got- so I keep looking at the terrain and continually have to reevaluate- yeah- a lot of days it gets tiring dealing with all especially stupid failing systems.
Can so relate to this post in every respect. Beautifully stated…honest and yet hopeful despite the path we are on. Thank you.
I feel it too. I’ve been so angry and that can be hard on me and everyone around me. I wish I could feel peaceful despite what I feel is coming and despite how the Covid BS played out. Not sure I like knowing things your average person has no clue about! Wait and see has taken
on a new meaning these past four years. I have learned patience I guess. Growing weary of it though and, like you, just want to get on with it. If anyone has advice on how to let it all go I would love to hear it!
As soon as I finished I just wanted to read it all again. From the first essay where I discovered you some twoish years ago, your writing makes me feel as if my own soul is speaking through you. Quite remarkable and comforting. The isolation (and reluctance to overcome it through engagement with others in the everyday, because trust was destroyed for me and is the foundation of any relationship I feel inspired to invest in) has been brutal and triggers my impatience "let's get on with the planned depop already already already so I can see what's left to work with" and has turned me into a ghoul some days. There is no lack of anger or tears as my life continues to feel as if I am incarcerated in a different way as dreams and desires only serve to remind the future has been irreparably altered. And most days the mantra "nothing matters nobody really cares" is like the milky aerosolized poison soup blocking the sun overhead. And mostly I just cant find words for any of it. So thank you for being here. Sounds trite but meant with great sincerity.
Thanks for writing this, Kathleen. I've felt ever since Covid that the Universe threw the glove down. That the challenge wasn't merely statistical or medical or even survival, since so many have been dying en masse. That it was a far greater thing of transformation, of awakening. Those who are ready will accept the challenge, those who aren't, won't or even can't. Our evolution at the soul level is the center of our horrific context. Can we maintain radical acceptance? That all the death, violence and slaughter is in perfection? It sounds absurd, even horrific itself, but taken at the cosmic level it has a different meaning entirely.
My first thought about what you wrote is everyday I feel I have to present myself as someone I am not anymore. From the moment I wake up with my husband who spends time on MSM in his man cave and pushes back on what I see going on to my sisters lost in the present world’s narratives then my friends where we meet. And then there is my daughter and her tr@nsgender son. My only grandchild. I know what this whole child sacrifice system is now and my family is trapped in it. I’m 76 this year. My hubs is 78. In my mind these are the years you start feeling your mortality and automatically start feeling and doing other things. Do we really need to renovate parts of the house? Do we have enough to continue a decent retirement. Will our savings be stolen? Now, in the current hellish health space, how do we protect each other when inevitable health issues arise if this hellish system gets hold of us. I will have to advocate for him. Can he properly and strongly advocate for me? We need to do the talks and sign the papers but will that even that be possible? Will they be honored. We have proof they may not. I think I’m in kind of crucial moment personally. I’m praying for discernment. I see many scripture references telling me something. God help us all.
I've thanked my readers as well. I would not have gotten through 2023 as well without them. So many became friends I've never met. There are several writers and commenters on this and other stacks I feel like I know, although we've never met. That would be the energy, which does not stay encased, right? Have a great Sunday!
I shared your impatience lol.
What I didn't realize or understand was that the thing that was coming was going to look so ugly. Necessary but uglier than anything before.
So at the same time as I rue the developments, I also hold an excitement because it's no longer the small drip of inching closer to something. Now the faucet is on full blast and the tub is overflowing, but what is coming out of the tap is rancid mud.
And here is something that will help from our friend in a wider place: "Belief systems are losing their affectingness."
I take this to mean that we will be able, as we allow ourselves, to create what we want without regard for what others are doing. That we can choose what we want to participate in, OR NOT.
Jury is still out, but we have begun to move in that direction.
Being political by nature, it's a tricky proposition for me.
But it's a light at the end of the tunnel.
A beautiful post, Kathleen, and so true for me too that new friends made here have been a precious relief from 'wandering lonely as a cloud' knowing that it is no longer an option or a need to 'fit in' and 'keep quiet' and deny my true self the delight of breaking free to do the work I long to do here on this beautiful Earth. Thank you for engaging with me too, for reading my posts and for being so kind which is greatly appreciated and brings joy to my heart..
Back in January, I was on a Zoom call with a group of people. Somebody said, "Do you feel like something is happening?" For this group, this is an unusual departure from the regular attention to work and life. I've shared that statement with many people since. Some of the things happening are very apparent, others less so. However, I would said that one thing that seems to be an almost defining impression of what is happening is the turn or transition from a mechanical materialist orientation to life to one more focused on relationships, and in particular conversation. I'm 115 episodes into my podcast, The Eddy Network. The primarily appreciation has been that it is an unscripted conversation. I didn't see that perception coming. It says something about the forward movement of this great transition that we are in. It says to me that our future will be more communal even as technology becomes more dominant. If I am correct, and I don't know if I am, it means that together we will be learning how to mitigate the constraining and harmful effects of what is developing. For this reason, I have hope, even as I believe the collapse or whatever we call it, will have devastating consequences for life on our planet. Thanks for staying true to your principles and being willing to change at the same time.
I just told someone that I feel 'stuck in amber.'
Just waiting until the zombie sirens to go off at this point.
Thanks Kathleen.
I maintain confidence that the universe is a top down affair rather than the bottom up way of the social Darwinists and would be controllers. The top down way encourages ones connection to the divine, our natural guide working through Natural Law, morals and ethics. The bottom up way of the 'laws of nature' looses respect of the sanctity of life and makes for survival of the fittest rather than health of the whole. God guides us when we learn to listen. This provides comfort and confidence to move forward during these trying times. We have free will and do well to embrace it, to better understand our role and responsibilities in this creative unfolding of life. The hubris of would be gods will be dashed on the rocks of reality, one way or another. The 'smarty pants' crowd does not know how to shape their own lives, how can they be taken as authorities for the shaping of our lives? They get away with it only through the deep propaganda of the split model of reality, our dominant narrative and driver of culture that is well past its expiration date. Read the labels. Stuff is moldy and stale. We need to make some fresh bread. Unleavened of course.
I love the work of many sub-stack artists, poets, compilers, writers, researchers and witnesses. Now lets find the way to put the parts together. I identify as a mechanic, putting well made parts together that come from hither and yon to make a working whole. The whole will work when the parts are installed correctly.
It is indeed, hard to be True. It’s all about striving.
Sometimes we stumble, but that’s part of the journey.
Thank you, as always. ❤️
Hello, Ms. Sun in Aries!! 🔥🔥 I know this isn't a post about astrology, and Aries is just one part of your puzzle, but just for fun...
You already seem very self aware of Aries' shadows so I thought I would list some of his higher expressions.
From my astrologer, Lynnette Duncan:
"Aries - Instinct: To Shine in your life, from a true center. Higher Expression - The I AM - Self Expression. Active, Intentional, Natural Leadership, Creative Ideas, Inspirational, Adventurous, Daring, Seeks Experience and Learns, Self-Initiative - Peioneering, Enthusiastice, Decisive, Outgoing."
So glad to have connected with you here, Kathleen! I hate to put away laundry, too! XOXO
I love it Kathleen! All of it!!! And soooooo true.
Thank you Kathleen for being a rainbow in a cloudy world (a la Maya Angelou). Despite them dragging us down to their own dark and low levels, we are stronger, brighter than we could possibly imagine. We are all crazy diamonds… shine on.
Appreciate your putting to words this journey of bizzaro through your eyes.
Like you said, so many relationships have broken-in my life too, it feels like I’ve passed them by/up as ones who choose not to do any self growth or have just numbed out to any inquiry as to WTF is happening , on my part the times have facilitated an acceleration of this ‘knowing ‘ myself, and making lemonade from the lemons as best I can. I make a living as a metal smith, operate a small gallery, named it Virtu, it’s the action form of virtue, do your best-which is all any one can do. It’s all we’ve got- so I keep looking at the terrain and continually have to reevaluate- yeah- a lot of days it gets tiring dealing with all especially stupid failing systems.
Thanks for being Kathleen ❤️😎