How Are You Doing?

It’s a loaded question. For some of of us anyway.

I heard from a woman I haven’t seen for three plus years. A nice person. We met at a “spiritual” group I had joined several years back in an attempt to find new connections. I hung in for several months, but it didn’t work for me. I suppose I was hoping for a repeat of an earlier experience with another group I had been part of for over a decade - initially formed around the work of philosopher Ken Wilber - though we quickly lost that focus - and which had produced many rich discussions and friendships.

The new group fell short and felt superficial; full of new-age sprinklings and distortions that were often elevated as wisdom. It frustrated me. Humor was lacking, and self-importance sat central (they go together it seems) so despite my attempts at finding a way in, I couldn’t. I stayed on the email list after I stopped attending and kept informed of what they were up to.

One of those people reached out recently with a personal email. She was worried about me, my “disappearance” and hoped I survived Covid. She noted how difficult it’d been for everyone, how the group had stopped meeting for a long time, but now even in-person meetings were back. She hoped I’d rejoin.

Because I saw the email chains for the group over the last two years I knew they’d all been largely in agreement with each other and the official Covid narrative. I knew they quoted Fauci and revered CDC guidance.

When she asked, “How are you doing?” I thought, what if I answered that question honestly?

Dear Deb,

Thank you for checking in.

Yes, I survived, but not in the form you would recognize. I’m not that person you knew a few years back. I look more or less the same and my address hasn’t changed, but Covid transformed me.

How does one even start? I haven’t really digested this grand experiment some hidden cult decided to subject humanity to. Still sorting that all out. But I’ll give you my best answer.

You know that feeling of sitting in a theatre that’s playing a zombie-themed movie? You temporarily enter a world in which normal people are suddenly transformed into unthinking monsters intent on infecting you with the same individual-ending disease ravaging them? And, because you are sitting safely in a theatre you can enter that world vicariously and imagine the effects. It’s a nightmare! Unimaginable. We watch the characters, who somehow have stayed uninfected, attempt to deal with the cognitive impossibility that the reality they now inhabit is full of zombies, all while attempting to survive it simultaneously.

There’s always that inevitable scene where one of the non-zombies find themselves in a room with an old friend or family member and in great relief takes a big breath because of course, now they are safe and no longer alone. Relief washes over them but then quickly dissipates as they discover their safe-haven is neither because, yup, that person is a zombie too!

It’s been kinda like that.

The world seemed to split. I stood up for sanity and self-sovereignty and people I loved, in addition to many strangers, thought I was a selfish asshole. That was weird.

I watched intelligent people turn into fanatics and attack those who wouldn’t comply, calling them out as dangers to humanity. That was unexpected.

I saw Nazi tendencies in decades-long friends who were happy to let me know a loss of access to society was fine with them. That sucked.

I saw endless lies uttered by officials, repeated by mindless mockingbird-heads (sorry I’m including you here) and dangerous injections go into the arms of millions, no billions, worldwide, who then needed to virtue-signal about it.

I witnessed as honest doctors who tried pointing out sane remedies for an unleashed bio-weapon have their characters destroyed, their licenses revoked, their livelihoods threatened, all because they told the truth. All because they wanted to help.

I watched so-called “spiritual” people happy to see others censored, liberals suggest starving non-compliers might be okay, and many many others look away.

I saw science gutted and freedoms mocked.

My partner lost his job because he wasn’t a team player and wouldn’t take one - in the arm of course - for the team. He didn’t just get fired, he was summarily shamed in front of his co-workers - just for having questions.

I watched as minds twisted from propaganda and hatred, blame those of us who simply said, “No”. I watched my own mind twist as I came to hate and blame them. (I call it temporary insanity and perhaps even a needed survival mechanism at the time.)

Marketing slogans trumped and questioners were dumped and it all happened as quickly as a switch being turned on. Who knew reality was so fragile?

History was erased, new definitions for pandemics and vaccines appeared, and progressives who’d always stood for individual rights caved and we found ourselves in a dystopian upside-down, inside-out world where governments and Big Phama were now to be trusted. As if, well, everything we knew about them was forgotten; vaporized in the fear-mongering campaign’s wake.

I’m not over it yet.

And of course, it’s far from over. The harms and injuries that now plague our world are piling up along with the idiotic attempts at concealing them. How do we even begin to integrate all this?

Sill, I’m looking to the future, attempting to assimilate it all, and not let it keep me down. I bake bread and garden. That helps. I have far fewer friends but those few who stuck with me, are all the more precious.

There is a lot of positive news too - the non-compliers, which I think of as the uninfected, (or Covid-psyop immune) have been finding each other. It’s a growing community and while still under attack, strengthening.

The best part of all these challenges is I’ve discovered more deeply who I am. What I really stand for, and what matters to me.

FYI - I’m done with spiritual groups fond of flowery words about how we’re all one and love is the answer but who then quickly boxed-out the non-compliers.

(Yeah, I saw the emails.)

So, how are you?

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