Definition: An irrational or disproportionate fear of chocolate.
What is a proportionate fear of chocolate one might wonder? Is there a word for an irrational and disproportionate attraction to chocolate?
I think I’m burned out on the global collapse and need a break from the usual.
Here’s a funny thing that came to me a couple weeks ago. Throughout my life, I always had this feeling of waiting for “it” to get started. Something I could never put my finger on; just an amorphous feeling of… something.
It wasn’t a scary something either. I didn’t dread this something happening. It was just like a… when’s it gonna actually start? feeling.
I suspect if I sought psychiatric help, there would have been a label slapped on it.
Speaking of slapping on labels, I once made up a diagnostic term for my knack of getting lost: topographically dyslexic. It’s good right? I’d use it when I was late for things…. “Sorry, got lost, you know I’m topographically dyslexic, right?”
Anyway back to the waiting for things to get started thing.
Didn’t matter that decades passed, and big events happened - births of my kids, moving multiple times - whatever - in the midst of life happening this feeling of waiting for this “something” to get started never left me. And, of course, I had no idea what it was.
Annoying.
Maybe lots of people know this feeling? I have to assume I’m not alone. And, I have asked others about it - did they too have a feeling of waiting for something to get started? I got lots of odd looks and exactly one person who said, “Yes.”
Also, it’s worth noting that while 9/11 was a big event, which I understood - post the immediate shock - was planned and orchestrated by the curtain-dwellers, even with that inner alarm sounding, the nebulous feeling of waiting on that elusive something persisted.
Doubly annoying.
Here’s the realization - I haven’t had that feeling since the Covid PSYOP rolled out. I just recently noticed that. And I’m thinking that if that decades-long feeling was a personal barometer of sorts (as I surmise) than its absence tells me what I’ve been waiting for has indeed, arrived.
Yay.
The really really big show, that kicked off with Covid, kick-started what I’m calling the Final Act. (The final act in the Reality-Show-World-of-Perpetually-Manufactured-Crises, that is.)
I don’t know for how long this final act goes on of course. I truly hope it’s not decades, but clearly years are involved.
Definitely already long enough that you can’t stay in your seat the entire show; you’ll have to get up, stretch your legs, maybe walk around the theatre a few times. Chat with some other attendees. Maybe look up random phobias.
Perhaps if you’re motivated you can even do some spontaneous rewrites to the script as it plays out. Why not? There are no rules about the audience being passive are there? Even if there were, haven’t we had enough of someone else’s scripts and someone else’s rules by now? Why shouldn’t we have a say in how all this comes down?
estimarxocolato - an irrational or disproportionate love of chocolate.
Yeah, I made it up.
So what? Most of what we thought was reality was made up too.
Thanks for reading, if you feel so inclined please consider a paid subscription or buying me a cup of hot chocolate.
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I, too, have been feeling this way. The sense has NOT gone away, like yours though. Mine is heightened. It is the feeling of waiting for "it" to just get on with it. Maybe this is the start of the end of this sense of impending-ness. Yes, you could be right. I like the idea of us all being in the theater and part of a proactive final act instead of together in the waiting room of a medical professional being called in one at a time. This show is much better with the congenial rapport of those who are cast in the many roles of non-entities who turn out to be the heroes at the end.
You have a gift for articulating exactly how I feel in a way I never knew quite how to express myself. I always thought my sense of 'something' heading our way was born from watching too many Charlton Heston movies as a teenager, especially The Omega Man and Planet of the Apes. I never in a million years imagined this 'something' to play out as a suffocating propaganda psyop that convinced most of the world we were in a catastrophic pandemic and that we would be saved by a barely tested 'vaccine'. I thought there would, at the very least, be a genuine pandemic that would decimate the population or that an asteroid might come from behind the sun and hit us without warning. Instead, this 'something' is far more sinister than I could ever have imagined as it is harder to see and harder to fight, especially when so many people have no idea we are under some kind of attack. Great post. Thanks!