Somebody That You Used To Know
Like many others, I have fewer friendships than I used to. With the ones that survived, I notice they speak to this earlier version of myself - before the pressure of the last two plus years transformed me.
They don’t see this new me.
If more of my old friends were actually here - as in present, aware and alert to the extraordinary times we’re living in - then they might recognize they don’t know me anymore.
That in fact, I’m somebody they used to know.
Why would that surprise? They don’t see anything. It’s very much like they are not really here. They talk and when they do, it sounds like talking-points. They parrot their parties narratives, repeat fake data they heard from the propaganda-box and once in awhile if feeling particularly naughty say something critical about the administration of their guy. (At least he’s not “Trump-bad”, or something along those lines.) I think, “How are these my friends?” or “Holy-shit I need new friends.”
(I actually have ‘a’ friend who is outside this particular program but for her, she’s waiting on Trump, as if, his return will fix everything. The other side of the Trump psychosis I guess. Big sigh.)
I used to be a libtard; more than a decade ago now. So perhaps I should cut them some slack. Friendships were formed when we had that worldview in common. (You know that worldview where you don’t actually know anything but you think you know everything?) And of course back then friendships encompassed more than politics. Now everything feels like a litmus test; lefties are trained to listen for any evidence that you might be a Trump sympathizer (still!) a racist, an intolerant trans-phobia menace, soft on Russia or, of course, an anti-vaxxer.
My friends know my position on all things Covid and the vaccine. They overlook it. We don’t talk about it. My continued presence in their life is an example of their tolerance; sort of like an updated take on the old token black friend: “I have black friends” has become “I have unvaxxed friends.” Another opportunity to virtue signal.
Perhaps in the next social setting, I’ll test the water with a comment along the lines of, “Hey, anyone see that new Naomi Wolf interview on Steve Bannon’s show?” Why not? I’m super bored of the usual nothing conversation anyway so may as well stir things up. Someone will likely look at me quizzically, but I seriously doubt I’d get a reply.
It’s the start of the weekend and I’m feeling a little sad for myself - I’ll get over it - that I don’t have friends to call who actually see me. Let alone are curious and will ask me questions.
Maybe the real issue here is my unwillingness to let go of them? The old version of me holding on to a life that’s gone and someone that I used to know.
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You’ve got friends here, Kathleen, and we see you 🤗
I think you are correct about the two sides of the TDS Trump derangement syndrome. I know people on both sides of that issue and they are stuck in cement. He still pushes the waxeen, seems to me he is just another pawn in the lively theater, either an actor or a person that received an offer he could not refuse.
Just before sleepy Joe took over the Pinocchio part I made a trip to the USA to shut down my business. I was looking for my former manager that had the keys to the business so I could liquidate it. He had lost the original keys, which I had a back up pair with another individual and replaced the locks giving him the only keys. Could not track him down, so went to see his exwife to see if she could locate him.
It was in January and bitter cold and snowing, I knocked on her door, she opened it a crack and told me that she would not let me in as her house was a total mess as she could not clean it up while Trump was president; I should understand that, or some words to that effect. Her exhusband was even worse with the TDS, he was blaming Trump for the problems with the post office, and I told him that those problems were decades old. Wow, the threats that followed were bizarre.
I then understood the symptoms of TDS, and I see those on the other side of that coin, almost as deranged. Makes me glad I do not live in the USA.
Good writing and observations, it is sad that friends are now parrots, however I have heard of birdly parrots that were smart and could reason things out.