Butterflies & Fractals

Our most profound moments happen in silence and likely, alone. Unexpected gifts, not conducive to noise and our world is very noisy. This makes it harder to share them.

Like a thoughtfully chosen gift selected with great care, that finds itself at the bottom of the gift-heap - which itself is subsumed and forgotten in a loud drunken party - the heartfelt intentions of the one who carefully selected it, may appear lost. Intention and care go unnoticed in chaotic spaces.

(We can only hope the receiver will carve out a quiet space at some point, to open it.)

When a whole world is unwinding an awful lot is said about it, but little will matter; mostly a parade of images and narrative, soon to be forgotten.

I’m finding lately there is less and less to say. Not just because the cacophony of voices drowns so much out, but because I’m more aware of who is saying it and the world that shaped that ‘who’.

What identity-bit is weighing in anyway? What hidden agenda may have influenced those words? What assumptions does it carry that may be wrong or tainted? Does it seek to differentiate, to divide, to impress…? Does it matter? Is it simply so fully entwined with the fabricated world leaving, that it can only give voice to its growing irrelevance?

Or is there, perhaps, enough awareness and space inwardly, enough quiet for that more essential - that quintessential self - to come forward and find its voice?

(Eduardo Calzado, Dimensions)

I like these questions. (If not always the answers.)

A sorting process is underway - which has to happen. A separation of the metaphorical wheat from the chaff. Or the quintessential from the circumstantial self.

Mostly we all see through the filters given to us; shaped by (we now know) hidden motives, false histories and hijacked beliefs. And aren’t we all exhausted by agendas? By being treated like pawns on a chess board, moved around by hidden hands in a game we know nothing of? Of course we are.

Reactions are often the result of the circumstantial self kicking off, because with the lies being exposed out there, those entwined, inner parts of us are exposed too and they don’t go quietly. They may want to rail and complain. They may want to scream or deny. They may want to defend or blame. They love to project.

We are not merely teasing layers of lies out from an objective world, (no such thing) we’re necessarily teasing our false selves out from our actual selves.

WHAT IS ESSENTIAL ABOUT US?

We’re all facing the same question of our deeper Identity. Which is great. Because even if you can’t answer it - it doesn’t matter. It’s there. And with every layer that comes off - out there and in here - we get closer to it.

In essence, we’re in a collective identity crises. This piece by Dr. Kay is getting at the same idea. (If you don’t already subscribe, I recommend.)

As we grow increasingly, inevitably, tired of the noise - like the turbulent surface of a raging river - we’ll start to naturally tune out and eventually look to sink into quiet river-bed, underneath.

THE PIVOT

This pivot towards silence - and what it offers - is a wholly natural impulse because of course we already know and it’s just the bits of us - wound up in that crazy noisy surface - that gets in the way.

The pivot happens - no prescription needed. No guide book or rules or have-to’s.

New questions naturally emerge.

Who am I in silence? Who am I outside of fear and self-preservation? Outside this fabricated world and the goals I was taught to pursue?

Those questions won’t always be easy and may also disrupt the circumstantial self. That’s okay - something far more real and interesting is coming.

Fears will come up, but who is it that’s afraid? Surely not the essential self that already knows there’s no real death, who acts with freedom and a clarity we would all recognize. All benefit by. Freedom triggers fear. So what? The part of you that’s afraid - that isn’t really you anyway.

Speaking of pivots, I came across an interesting thing a few weeks back, working on an essay that meandered its way into quantum physics. (Annoying.)

Quantum physics tells us that when you drill down to the smallest particle you discover nothing is there and you also discover that the observer itself collapses the wave-function of electrons into a specific state. (Translation - we are both far less significant and far more significant at the same time. Like I said, annoying.)

The over-arching implications of quantum insights support a reality that is far more fluid and malleable than the one we are extricating ourselves (or being extricated) from. Which is great news since the trajectory of its undoing is not limited to what we can currently imagine, and also great news because what we can imagine - as it breaks free of old constraints - will influence that trajectory.

A super quick primer on Superposition:

In classical physics, objects have definite properties and exist in specific places at specific times. A coffee mug sits on the table; the light in a room is either on or off. In quantum mechanics, however, particles don’t follow these rules. Instead, they exist in superpositions — combinations of all their possible states.

Take the example of an electron. It might be in superposition between multiple energy levels around the nucleus of an atom, or it could simultaneously spin up and down. It’s only when we measure or observe the electron that it “chooses” a single state from its possibilities. Before this measurement, it’s not accurate to say the electron is in any one state — rather, it is in all states at once.

This made me wonder how superposition and wave-functions fit in with fractals which while infinitely complex, repeat a simple process. A quick search resulted in my finding this article on quantum-fractal particles. (Worth the quick read. )

A team of scientists from Princeton University has measured the energies of electrons in a new class of quantum materials and has found them to follow a fractal pattern. Fractals are self-repeating patterns that occur on different length scales and can be seen in nature in a variety of settings, including snowflakes, ferns, and coastlines. A quantum version of a fractal pattern, known as “Hofstadter’s butterfly,” has long been predicted, but the new study marks the first time it has been directly observed experimentally in a real material. This research paves the way toward understanding how interactions among electrons, which were left out of the theory originally proposed in 1976, give rise to new features in these quantum fractals.

The “butterfly” moniker is used because the emerging pattern, when plotted against energy and magnetic field, evinces an elegant and intricate configuration that resembles a butterfly’s wings.

A butterfly!

It’s almost as if the underlying pattern revealed at a quantum level is speaking to the deep transformational nature of life.

It was just February of 2025 that this was discovered. And worth noting, the discovery of this hypothesized pattern was not what the researchers were looking for. It was a happy accident.

“Sometimes nature is kind to you,” observed Nuckolls. “Sometimes nature gives you extraordinary things to look at if you stop to observe it.”

That would be a duh, yes.

There is a period of time when the caterpillar, in its chrysalis, fully decomposes and turns into a gooey (not pretty) substance, before it reconstitutes into a (beautiful) butterfly.

It happens in darkness yet out in the open. You could easily walk by it and not notice. It’s a silent process fully immersed in mystery and wonder. We can label the process - caterpillar, chrysalis, butterfly - but we are still pointing to a mystifying mystery.

Transformation and transmutation sit at the heart of the material world, the butterfly reminds us. (Lightly, with delight and color, no less.)

And it seems it sits at the heart of the unseen, quantum world as well.

I think many of us feel we’ve been living in that mushy space between versions of ourselves but don’t always have the words to express it. I know I have.

I find the journey of the slow-crawling caterpillar - who disappears from view to undergo its radical change - reassuring. Helpful. Even, inspirational.

And that’s also my long-winded excuse for not writing as much I keep intending.

I’ve been a mushy goo.

I’ve tired of the turbulence of our noisy world - silence has been calling more and more and I simply haven’t had the bandwidth for much, outside the needed interactions of my everyday life. I imagine that will change when it changes.

I’m betting many of my readers can relate.

Maybe soon - can’t say when - I’ll be the human equivalent of a butterfly. (I hope I’m purple.)

I’ll flit around for awhile and then go through the whole process again. I think recurring, conscious transformation is in our future. Course, we’re only becoming more and more of what we already are.

I’m optimistic. So full of curiosity at what we’ll do. And it’s so much easier to feel that when you walk away from the noisy parade.

More than ever I’m convinced the Universe has our back, transformation is built in - at the deepest unseen underpinnings - and we can trust life. We can trust ourselves.

So no worries if that most precious gift sitting at the bottom of the heap and forgotten in all the chaos has not yet been found. It’s there. Find a quiet space and open to it.

Thanks for reading.

🦋🦋🦋

https://ko-fi.com/kathleen87247